Test days

So Friday was test day at my school. Test days are a nice respite from the seemingly hectic and chaotic normal days, only they are another form of chaos. Test days happen once a month and it is just a spoken test about the grammar and English words taught that month. We administer the test by pulling the children out into the hall and have them listen to a scratchy audio prompting from a CD. The child is then expected to answer the question that was raised by the CD. I am merely there to make sure that the child answers the question fully and in proper English at which point I enter in a score in a score book. That is how it is supposed to go in theory, but as I am learning, in Korea nothing ever goes as planned.
The first problem is that I am not instructed on how I am supposed to administer the test or even told that there is a test. So Thursday comes around and my co-teachers are talking about test days and how they should be a nice break at which point I ask when testing occurs. This leads to them being baffled that the school did not explain the testing process to me and that beyond that saying the school tests students (go figure). So I am given a crash course in testing and I am off to the races. I am sent into my first class and I take the first student, a tastefully named boy (Oscar) and we get cracking. Good thing is that he aces the test, bad thing is that I find out that I shouldn't have let the other kids out of my sight while testing. I return to the class room to find the four girls standing on their desks attempting to see out of the window. On top of them being wild and rather uncontrollable they have decided that they are going to boycott the rest of the testing, because they view them as unfair. I attempt to garner a peaceful resolution by bribing them with word searches. Good thing about that is kids are easily placated. What I had not realized was that they had no idea how a word search works, and they were circling every letter on the page all while screaming "teacher!" and asking for help. I try to act out the words and various circling motions but this only proceeds to confuse them more. Luckily for me the bell is about to ring and it won't be my problem anymore. Except that we have to find a way to test all the kids, and in the first 25 minutes I have tested one of 5 kids. I race through the other four tests, in the remaining 15 minutes and stave off me having to keep the kids after class. One class down 5 more to go!

The other classes are even more difficult to test because they are more advanced classes with more advanced questions. I also have no idea what I am supposed to be grading these kids on because I don't have a scale or any guidance as for what to look for, and they know very little English. I ultimately decide that I am going to be a forgiving grader and pass the kids who talk while failing those that don't. I run into a problem with that almost immediately. Now I know that learning a foreign language is difficult and is bound to be filled with trying times, but whenever I was given an oral examination I knew that I was supposed to talk, even if it wasn't correct grammar or even if it was off topic. Apparently these kids have never gotten the memo, and prefer to sit there silent while looking at me with the most bewildered expression imaginable. I realize that the problem might be because the audio CD is stupid and asks silly and obscure questions like "Where can you find the menu?" when talking about food. I know that the menu can be found at the restaurant but I have a lot of experience in the matter. Quick side note: In Korea it is common practice to give one menu per party as opposed to the "western" (can't believe this is a western notion) idea of one menu per person. This leads to a logjam of people attempting to pass around one menu and decide simultaneously what they want to eat at the same time. One major problem that happens every single time I go out to eat is that the menu is completely in Korean, and there are no pictures of what is being served. Usually I just stab randomly at the menu and pray for something tasty, but if it is good I don't know the name of it so I can never order it again, alas. But back to my point, maybe the kids don't know where to find the menu because it is a problem that is currently afflicting the majority of the Korean population. Just saying. So I am testing these children who want to do nothing but sit quietly and look at me blankly, while I attempt to do all in my power to get them to say anything in English. I try prompting, I ask them about the weather, I tell them the answer hoping they might repeat the words back to me. Nothing, these kids won't say a damned thing. Which is frustrating, but not nearly as much I am fearing that I am going to be fired because I cannot teach the kids to say simple words. Meanwhile as I am goading the kids into talking the classroom is boiling over with kids screaming and singing, and dancing, and doing anything except for the one thing I asked them, which was to be quiet and do a word puzzle. While testing, I overhear this outburst from a fellow teacher, "I asked you guys to do one thing for me today! I said please please please don't make me hate my life for the next 40 minutes, and you are doing just that!"

Just another day teaching in Korea. Good news is that I get to do it all again on Monday, because I didn't finish. joy :)

Until next time past dwellers