Poked, Prodded and Pinched the Joys of Teaching

Let it be known that on the Day of Hope 48 in the Year of Progress and Change, I William "Chauncy" Dunkel taught his first class of 1800. What a day it was, but first before the incredible events that transpired I must explain what happened prior to that. So I wake up in the morning and I feel excited it's a new chapter and I've got a shiny new pen to use. I go through the normal exercises of waking up in Korea, sitting bolt upright wondering where the heck I am before realizing that if I had been kidnapped they would not have turned on the heat. One of the great things I have noticed about Korea so far is that they have heated floors, pretty cool that. So anyways I get ready for work and my boss comes to pick me up so that I can go and get my Korean medical check.
Well after another harrowing driving experience we arrive at the hospital and I am ready to get checked out. Well if I had thought that the one place in the country where I was certain that english would be spoken or at least understood I would have said the hospital. Boy I can be really really really really wrong sometimes. No one in the hospital speaks english, they know of a few words like hello and sit down and my favorite blood! followed by a gesture of bleeding. So I am guided through a multi-stepped check up to make sure that I am healthy enough to be in Korea. It is kind of like the passing the physical after a major trade in baseball, except the ramifications are unclear if I fail.
So these Korean hospital workers dress me up in a gown, their gowns are actually stylish two piece robes unlike the moomoo smock we use, and send me through the gauntlet. They take my blood pressure, they tell me a number then look at me blankly for ten seconds. I just nodded, which they seemed to take as a good sign. They kept on asking me if I took the urine test to which I always replied yes, but it was if they didn't believe me, I mean why else would they ask at every stop? I took an eye exam, Left eye at 1 right ey at 1.25 any idea what that means? I sure don't. They took blood from me four vials worth, everyone else only had to give two but I had to give four, I think theyre planning on cloning me and selling my clones as white person meat. I'm on to you Korea! So they get me through this incredible affair and I suppose it is what being a child is like where you are led around by the hand forced to sit down and take tests all the while why having not the foggiest idea about what is happening. Good thing to know though I managed to offend the girl helping me because I assumed she was a nurse, but no she was a Med Student. How am I supposed to know girl? Oh well she didn't seem to offended since she introduced me to her student friend.
So I passed through the examination without any problems until I was informed that I have a cavity! 24 years with no dental issues and now I get a stupid cavity, well they say even the Mona Lisa is falling apart. So I will have to deal with that at one of the many different dentists offices around town. Once I get my Alien card that is.
After that fun time we had just enough time to race to school so I could teach my first classes. The great thing about being unprepared for your first day as a teacher is that you can't do anything terribly wrong because the kids don't know enough english to notice that you are teaching the classes wrong. My first class is with 6 year olds, in America that would make them 4 or 5, and I have seven students 5 girls and two boys, they seem like they will be a lively bunch. They are young enough that they don't know that they can act out of line yet and are still encapsilated by the token white guy talking gibberish. I go through the first few words with them and get them to understand the greatest concept ever Boy, Girl, Teacher! They can now differentiate themselves from one another thanks to me! Teaching: All about building up walls! Only one of the little girls cried but I didn't know what to do other than dance in an attempt to make her laugh. Mission not accomplished.
My second class was with older children 7 years old and they have no respect for the authority of teacher...but the do like to color! I let them color for about 2 hours and when that failed we sang songs. I am hoping that my time here is more than simple babysitting, but I will be okay if it starts out that way. This time only one little girl (Tiffany) cried and only for 5 minutes so I could already see progress in my teaching accumen. I still have not had the chance to read Dr. Seuss to them but I know the day is fast approaching :)
Afternoon classes were much better in the fact that the students have a firm understanding of english and don't want to talk in Korean the whole time. I already have a favorite class, and a least favorite. The favorite class is with a gaggle of girls and Josh that actually listen to what I say. Unfortunately they wanted my picture a lot and one of them asked for my phone number upon noticing I had a cell phone. I had a difficult time explaining to them why I couldn't give them my number but I think they understand.
The worst class wanted to do nothing but make my life miserable by running around and screaming at me but I've got thier number, just keep them after class for 10 minutes in silence and it seems to cure most of what ails them.

Well I had meant to be more descriptive about my first day teaching and how exciting and terrible it was but I am suffering from English disease here in Korea. English disease is what I like to call the degradation of my vocabulary and ability to speak by spending all day repeating words like dog! No! and pie eating contest! Hopefully it is not permanent but more research must be done. But later because now I must be off to work. See you americans!